Difficulty with mindful meat eating

As a massive animal lover, I have been struggling with mindful meat eating since leaving the Plum Village Summer Retreat, where only vegan food was served. It is just not nice to think about the fact that I am eating the muscle of a lamb, cow or chicken. Similarly with milk and eggs, if I really think about the source, I hate to think about dairy cows perpetually breast-feeding with mastitis, or chicken being kept in small cages. Sooooo, I'm currently eating a vegetarian + fish diet (too tired to check how to spell pescetarian!!). With sustainable fish only.  Fortunately this leaves oysters but knocks out prawns....can live with that.